Entry 71: Burqas and Ski Boots (Dubai, United Arab Emirates)
JW: I’ve always said I’d try snow skiing only if I could do it in 114 degree heat with my wife in a burqa. I thought I was safe. . .
We arrived in Dubai at the hottest time of the year. The main attractions in Dubai are the mammoth shopping malls throughout the city, and when it’s 114 degrees outside it’s too hot to do anything else besides cruise the mall.
Throughout Africa and most of the Middle East, we stuck out like sore thumbs. In Dubai we decided to try a new tactic for assimilating into the local culture. We bought a burqa and a thobe and turned our day at the mall into a cultural experience.

EE: It was quite a different experience to see the world through a sliver of a sheet. You lose your peripheral vision so it’s hard to see. On the positive side, it didn’t matter what I was wearing underneath and no men looked at me. The cons were extensive, including the fact that it was really hot underneath all that nylon and impossible to eat. When I walked past Western women their eyes would widen and roll in disgust. Fellow burqa ladies would stare. I wasn’t sure if it was a stare of solidarity or if I was wearing it wrong.
Walking around the enormous Mall of the Emirates we stumbled into the epitome of Dubai’s “if you build it they will come” culture…a ski slope in the middle of the desert. “Ski Dubai” is a gleaming futuristic structure the size of three football fields and covered in 60 tons of snow. Dotted with a few fake trees, rocks, and sealed by an eggshell blue “sky,” it’s supposed to look like the Swiss alps.
JW: I had never put on a pair of skis in my life, but I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to ski in the desert.

EE: I gave Jeff a few pointers on the bunny hill, made a few runs so he could watch how it’s done, and then prayed that, inshallah, he didn’t destroy his body.
JW: I managed to make three runs without seriously hurting myself so I consider the whole adventure to be a great success.

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EE: While Jeff was busying himself with yard sales on the slopes, I was enthralled by the snow tubing burqa ladies.

Burqa Lady on a Snow Tube
After awhile my fingers and camera were starting to freeze. I need some respite from 22 degree conditions so I headed for the heated chalet conveniently located at the top of the “slopes.” While sipping hot coco I read the flowing headline: “UAE selected as the new global headquarters for the International Renewable Energy Agency.” An environmental group headquartered in the UAE? Seriously?? Dubai makes Vegas look eco-friendly.

View of Ski Dubai from the outside
After a long day we took a taxi out to our hotel to get some rest. We were pretty excited about the hotel because it was very cheap for a Dubai hotel. But no sooner had we turned out the lights than we started to hear the thump, thump, thump of a baseline. It was like Tel Aviv all over again. I popped an Ambien. Jeff went out to investigate.
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JW: I made my way to the complete opposite side of the hotel building and finally found the source of the ridiculously loud music. There was no signage and no indication that this was a club except for the huge bouncer standing just outside the door. I walked past the bouncer and into what seemed to be an alternate universe.
On the far wall were 12 young girls all sitting on a bench. They were all wearing tight and somewhat suggestive clothing, but their shoulders and knees were covered. There was one girl dancing around the stage by herself. She wasn’t doing a dance routine, she was just shuffling around the dance floor looking sleepy and a bit bored. It was like something out of a Stanley Kubrick movie.
There were a row of tables facing the dance floor with about 15 men scattered at the various tables, most of them sitting by themselves. That’s when I realized I had walked into a Dubai strip club – without, of course, the actual stripping.
The music was so loud I could barely hear myself think. A waiter came over and directed me to a table. He tried to scream something in my ear but I couldn’t hear him. Finally he pointed to the bar and I pointed to a Heineken.
I sat down just as the song was ending. An MC came up, thanked the performer and announced the next dancer (it was all in Arabic but I got the jist). The first girl bowed and took her place along the back wall with the other girls. Half way through the song the MC approached the new dancer and lightly placed a tiara on the girl’s head, and then pulled it off. The MC looked back into the audience and repeated this process three more times.
When the MC walked off stage I went up to him and yelled as loud as I could in his ear, “What is the deal with the tiara?” He yelled back, “That’s how you tip the girls. Each time I crown a girl its 100 dirhams [about $30].”
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Dubai is an improbable city. From Ski Dubai to the seven-star hotel shaped like a sail, it’s a city that can turn you off by its vulgarity or draw you in with its boldness. After two days we were repulsed and yet thoroughly entertained. We’re glad we went but we probably won’t go back – at least until next ski season.

Burj Al-Arab -- a self-proclaimed 7 Star hotel
Special thanks to Mark Waner for supplying the first line of this post.













































